Posted by: wellness training services | July 20, 2012

The water element



Our reflective natures are described best by the WATER element. Following is an example of a self-expression by a WATER-preferred person we will call “Danielle”—me—in response to a question during self-coaching to gain greater self-awareness.

The question was the same one asked of Richard (AIR, Chapter 4) and Janet (FIRE, Chapter 5): “How would I describe myself, my strengths, and my gifts, and how I strive to share these with the world?”

When we are confused about “who” we are, or when we have too grand a picture of our own importance, our sensate body feels stressed as the mind strives to clarify what is happening. The mind would not bother to try to clarify if the feelings of confusion were not present.

Reactions triggered by the feelings help to surface differences for mediation of tensions between the ideas and the actions. This mediation assists in the manifestation of results by being an interface for processing data and preparing the way for the physical distinctions of EARTH.

In many ways, the WATER element acts as our social conscience in life, assisting us in dealing with issues that affect us. Everything tangible comes through awareness of sensations of feelings in the body. Our body is nature’s gift to us. This is our feedback machine. We cannot change unless we get, give, and work with this important part of ourselves. With feedback from both the internal and the external worlds comes increased awareness of the whole system. With increased awareness, we become more conscious.

“Knowing ourselves” is developed through life experiences and analysis. If we do not learn things on our own and open up to what life presents us, we will repeatedly face challenges and be presented with opportunities to grow. Our lessons will come to us in one way or another, but until we comprehend the lessons, we will continue to be presented with opportunities for growth. That is nature’s way of forcing us into awakening and expanding our consciousness. Tension awakens us out of the relative world where we are not awake. With tension, we become “at-attention” or “at-tension.” Out of the struggle between pain and pleasure, tension enlivens within us a need to broaden our awareness in order to awaken to greater consciousness and better choices.

  • Tension = Pressure
  • Pressure = Need for change
  • Change = Adaptation
  • Adaptation = Integration
  • Integration = Broadening of consciousness
  • Broadening of consciousness = Enlightened use of energies/elements

Our physical drives and impulses are channeled toward fulfillment of the soul. The soul is that invisible inner essence, inner memory, and inner desire that strives to push forward to serve humanity.

When we do not accept ourselves, we often fail to share our natural gifts with others. Self-acceptance comes from our awareness and appreciation of these gifts. As we develop more of our spiritual side, our natural gifts will shine through. When we maturely express the finer qualities of our four lower chakras, we naturally and easily enliven, integrate, and holistically expand ourselves and how we connect to the whole human family.

We pursue our holistic approach by focusing our attention on the needs of the community as a whole rather than on only our individual desires. To gently encourage the individual ego into higher self-expressions, we do not “instruct” the ego on what to do as this will only cause the ego to “dig in its heels” even more deeply and find reasons not to cooperate.

The ego is in a good position to resist change because of how it sets up things for us. Rather than rely on the ego, we need to invite all aspects of ourselves to participate by asking open-ended questions such as: “What is the best solution for everyone in this situation, and how can I best assist with what I know and do well?” In this way, the ego of the human self can comfortably begin to serve the higher spiritual self by using its own gifts and talents for service to humanity. Using its talents is something the ego would naturally like to do! Through reflection on the people and the activities that affect our lives and how our world is treating us, we trigger within us a process of more consciously deciding how we want to be when dealing with others.

When WATER-element people feel unsafe in their world, they hold themselves back. By stifling their natural tendencies, they fail to appreciate how creative and imaginative they can be. When fear prevents them from expressing themselves, they lack enthusiasm and withdraw from others.

Sometimes life presents us with a major crisis. Either this crisis provides an opportunity for personal growth and a calling to fulfill something through risk-taking, or the crisis intensifies our fears and sends us further inward until a fall occurs and we are forced into personal growth. One way or the other, we have to listen to Mother Nature.


ImageUsing a planned structure to keep on track is critical to WATER-preferred people. One of their biggest challenges is to overcome their inability to say “no” as they fail to see that their own time and personal needs are as equally important as those of everyone else. They forget to put themselves into the equation.

Maintaining focus and keeping on track is a matter of identifying what is urgent and what is important at the start of each day. Time management and assertiveness skills are critical for WATER-preferred people when they coach themselves forward to achieve dreams, goals, and outcomes.

WATER-element people feel guilty if they do not give their time to others. They tend to neglect their own needs and priorities. Because of this, they require the tools of the physical side so they can identify and define their limitations, their parameters, and their available time.

Using time as a tool to your advantage, ask yourself: “What can I do today to move toward my goal? What can I plan to do tomorrow? What about two weeks from today? What about a month from now?” Putting a structure on their time is the best advice on processes for WATER-element people.

And learn to say “no.” You can say it in constructive ways, such as: “I’d love to help you with that, but I have to get this project done by the end of next week.” Or, something like, “I can help you with that but not until later today.” In this way, you can still honor yourself at the same time that you feel good about helping someone else—when it is convenient for you and not at your expense.


ImageThis is one time-management tool that I have found to be helpful. At the start of each day, identify your priorities and list those things that are going to move you ahead and will bring you the greatest feeling of success. Assign each activity or task a rating of from 1 (highest) to 3 (lowest) on a scale of Urgency and on a scale of Importance. Then, multiply together the two ratings to find your priority with the greatest likelihood or factor of Success:

  • Success = Urgency x Importance

For example, let’s say that I have identified and rated three priorities for today:

  • Association surveys: 2 for Urgency and 3 for Importance. Success = 2 x 3 = 6
  • Coaching program timeline: 1 for Urgency and 1 for Importance. Success = 1 x 1 =1
  • Book project editing: 2 for Urgency and 1 for Importance. Success = 2 x 1 = 2

In the example, the best thing for me to focus on first is the coaching program timeline as it rates 1 x 1 = 1. The next thing for me to do is to work on the book project editing as it rates 2 x 1 = 2. Last to work on is the association surveys as it rates 2 x 3 = 6.

Using this method, I can now see clearly what will bring me the greatest feeling of success, and that is where I should focus my attention and efforts. This will help me to stay on-track and keep me from going off on tangents. I have coached myself to success!


This is another method I use and find very helpful. At the start of each week, I list on flipchart paper everything coming in the week ahead that I can think of and should focus on. I make a list of categories, then list the items for each category. I have found that this is the easiest time-management tool I have ever learned to use that brings me the greatest satisfaction. Just listing items like this keeps me clearly focused. At the end of the week, I am always amazed at how much of my list was completed. In fact, I can honestly say that at least ninety percent of all of my lists have been completed at the end of each week in my thirty years of using this method—which I learned at my first corporate job from a very intense boss. I have tried many other time-management tools over the years, but this one remains my favorite and most satisfying.

Here is an example of what has resulted from the following open-statement that I use weekly to guide myself and set priorities:

Looking ahead at the coming week, I will feel good if at the end of the week I have accomplished:

Category 1 – Appointments Category 2 – Telephone calls
1. Doctor 1. Book Master Mind
2. Hair dresser 2. Cancel eye examination
3. Exercise x 3 3. Group meeting call
4. Lunch for Sam 4. Coaching students
5. Cooking class 5. Call Gloria back
Category 3 – Workshops Category 4 – Administration
1. Pick up at printers 1. Deposit check
2. Gather coaching materials 2. Send out cards
3. Finish with students 3. Pay monthly bills online
4. Create timeline/agenda 4. Property legal question
5. Review activity flow/timing 5. Tidy workspace

When we are coaching ourselves to success, we have to constantly ask: “Is this activity moving me closer to my targeted goal? Is it the most important thing for me to do right now?”

If the activity is not, then refocus; if the activity is, do it and pat yourself on the back.


ImageReflection of life and its mysteries make the WATER element a seeker and a seer of the unseen. An unending supply of divine expression flows from a receptive cup as the imagination leans toward the mystical. When maturely developed, an abundance of creative expression is channeled for transforming negativity through the laws of give-and-take. Cooperation and harmony are keywords as you strive to live a life dedicated to peaceful co-existence.

Step 1. AIR“Who am I?”

Step 2. FIRE“What should I do?”

Step 3. WATER: “Who and/or what else is involved and how am I feeling about all this?”

Step 4. EARTH“How do I balance the inner and the outer worlds and build a solid foundation on which to stand and move forward?”

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  1. […] life’s forces within us—the forces that can be represented by the four elements of AIR, FIRE, WATER, and EARTH, which strive to be expressed maturely to satisfy our needs and desires—to integrate […]

  2. […] 3. WATER: “Who and/or what else is involved and how am I feeling about all […]

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