Posted by: wellness training services | October 6, 2012

A framework for a balanced life – Part 1

A framework for a balanced life – Part 1

We consistently seek to bring balance to our lives. Self-awareness is critical to start the journey, and a focused approached and understanding of where our psychological tension originates is critical to “work the process” along the way. A good coach is someone who helps you to stay focused, set a specific goal or target, and move toward that goal or target in a systematic way. You can be your own coach, or you can ask a friend or colleague or your boss to serve as a coach for you.

Generating clear goals, using clear frameworks, and asking good questions are essential to good coaching results. A key to maintaining a personal balancing act is to understand that the coachee should develop only one new skill, goal, or outcome at a time.

Creating a clear goal based on processes identified in these two frameworks can assist the professional in staying balanced and working toward a balanced life.  We begin our coaching session by creating a clear goal based on what are often referred to as SMART criteria: The coachee identifies a goal that is S – specific, M – measurable, A – achievable, R – relevant, and T – timed. For example, if I say that I want to lose twenty pounds and I want to coach myself to achieve this, my goal statement would read something like this:

I will have reduced my weight by twenty pounds (specific, measurable), which will make me feel healthier and more attractive(relevant), by December 31st of this year (timed).

Maxwell Maltz, author of Psycho-Cybernetics, said that human beings are goal-oriented organisms. An idea in our mind, activated in our mental awareness, stimulates us to make decisions and take action. As we move toward our goals, we are in a process of change.

Change can cause stress. An understanding of the following elemental personality problem-solving tools can help to reduce the impact of this stress and help us to reach our targeted outcome. It is important while journeying toward an outcome that you consider incoming feedback. As the journey affects you, it will create a need for you to reshape or reassess your desired outcome.

QUESTIONING SKILLS AND THE PROBLEM-SOLVING FRAMEWORK

Coaching skills rely heavily on the ability to ask good questions. The mind loves to solve problems, and by posing good questions to the mind, the mind can explore creative possibilities.  We begin problem-solving by defining a current problem. A problem is the gap between your current reality and your desired outcome or goal. It is important to find ways to sort the problem so the problem is manageable and workable. We can sort for clarity by using timelines and posing questions.

TIMELINES

You can gain in-depth understanding of a problem if you look at it from the perspectives of past, present, and future. For example, if you want to lose weight but are struggling with the process, then review the desired outcome by flushing out distinctions from the different perspectives. Try to place yourself in the mindset for each perspective.

Past:

Start with the past. In the past, what was the ideal weight for you? If it was 118 pounds and you now weigh 138 pounds, what made the difference? When did your weight change and what were your patterns that created the change? How far back in the past did this change take place? What was the driving reason behind the change?

Present:

Now, take a look at the weight change from a present-tense perspective. What is causing you to stay at this weight that you do not want? What would you now have to do differently to help you get back to your desired weight?

Future:

Next, look at the weight problem from a future perspective. Now that you weigh 118 pounds again, what did you do to get back to this desired weight? What will help you to maintain your desired outcome and keep off the twenty pounds? What will you have to do more of? Less of? Are you prepared to do that?

Stay awake, aware, and alert and strive to lead a well-tempered life – a life that possesses both hardiness and flexibility.  The good news is that once you are awake, it’s hard to go to sleep again, but if you do, do it on purpose and prepare yourself for the consequences.

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