Posted by: wellness training services | October 16, 2012

Elemental Personality Theory – Part 4: The earth element cont.

Elemental Personality Theory – Part 4: The earth element cont.

COACHING TOOLS TO ENLIVEN PHYSICAL AWARENESS

In the movie Jerry Maguire, Jerry collates and hands out his “dream” to his colleagues, then later as he finds only scenes and images of war on television, he suddenly realizes and regrets what he has done. He is embarrassed by his “dream” and having exposed it, and he feels that he has made a fool of himself with his colleagues.

Jerry’s inner Critic spoke up—just as what happens to us when we imagine and think of a dream or a vision for ourselves. We all can hear that voice of our inner Critic:”You can’t have that because you’re not good enough.”

  • “Who do you think you are anyway to even imagine you could have that?” 
  • “What happens when you fail again? What will everyone think?” 
  • “You’re such a goodie-two-shoes and always do what you’re supposed to do, not what you want to do.”

On and on goes the Critic in us as it starts to wear us down, diminish our enthusiasm, and undermine our confidence. When coaching yourself to wellness, it is best to take the bull by the horns and invite in the Critic rather than ignore or resist it. This is a very powerful method for working with the EARTH element (and one of my most important coaching tips to share with others).

LET THE CRITIC SPEAK

This exercise is adapted from some techniques I was introduced to years ago. Rate each of the following statements on a scale of 1 (lowest) to 5 (highest) in terms of your confidence in being able to sustain your efforts over the long haul.

The dream/goal is desirable and worth living/achieving.

1              2              3              4              5

The dream/goal is possible for me to live/achieve all of the time.

1              2              3              4              5

What I have to do to live/achieve the dream/goal is appropriate for me in my life right now.

1              2              3              4              5

I have the capabilities necessary to live/achieve the dream/goal.

1              2              3              4              5

I deserve to live/achieve the dream/goal and carry it forward.

1              2              3              4              5

What typically happens in a coaching session is that each statement is given a high rating. I will say:

“I see that the ratings are all high, so there must not be a problem in living/achieving this dream/goal. If there is no problem, why have you not lived/achieved this dream/goal in the past?”

Then, I ask for the statements to be reviewed and rated again with this perspective in mind to see what surfaces. Do the same yourself to find what surfaces for you.

For example, you might begin to wonder if it is really possible to live/achieve your dream/goal: “I still have a whole lot of that ‘little-girl’ stuff in me that inhibits me from wanting to play a bigger game on planet Earth. I certainly didn’t have role models to draw on when I grew up in my one-company ‘Leave-it-to-Beaver’ town in the fifties where we were all taught to conform to the status quo.”

Flushing out the Critic’s voice will help you to move forward on your dream/goal. For example: “Now that I acknowledge that ‘little girl’ in me, I can see and consciously address what may block or sabotage me as I move toward my dream/goal. Being more aware of this possibility allows me to make better, more mature decisions on what I want to do to move forward. If I am not conscious of what may block or sabotage me, I am limited in my choices. So I want to become as conscious as possible with the inner workings of my mind to expand my abilities to make choices.”

Continue to invite in the Critic—without second-guessing or censoring yourself. Let it all come out.

If I live/achieve this dream/goal, then …

_________________________________________

It is not possible for me to live/achieve this dream/goal because …

_________________________________________

I am not capable of living/achieving this dream/goal because …

_________________________________________

It is wrong for me to want to live/achieve this dream/goal because …

_________________________________________

I don’t deserve to live/achieve this dream/goal because …

_________________________________________

Other negative beliefs I have:

_________________________________________

Stay awake, aware, and alert and strive to lead a well-tempered life – a life that possesses both hardiness and flexibility.  The good news is that once you are awake, it’s hard to go to sleep again, but if you do, do it on purpose and prepare yourself for the consequences. 

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BOOK: www.welltemperedlife.com

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