Posted by: wellness training services | October 20, 2012

Elemental Personality Theory – Part 8: The water element

Elemental Personality Theory – Part 8: The water element

Our reflective natures are described best by the WATER element. Following is an example of a self-expression by a WATER-preferred person we will call “Danielle”—me—in response to a question during self-coaching to gain greater self-awareness.

The question was the same one asked of Richard (AIR, Chapter 4) and Janet (FIRE, Chapter 5): “How would I describe myself, my strengths, and my gifts, and how I strive to share these with the world?”

When we are confused about “who” we are, or when we have too grand a picture of our own importance, our sensate body feels stressed as the mind strives to clarify what is happening. The mind would not bother to try to clarify if the feelings of confusion were not present.

Reactions triggered by the feelings help to surface differences for mediation of tensions between the ideas and the actions. This mediation assists in the manifestation of results by being an interface for processing data and preparing the way for the physical distinctions of EARTH.

In many ways, the WATER element acts as our social conscience in life, assisting us in dealing with issues that affect us. Everything tangible comes through awareness of sensations of feelings in the body. Our body is nature’s gift to us. This is our feedback machine. We cannot change unless we get, give, and work with this important part of ourselves. With feedback from both the internal and the external worlds comes increased awareness of the whole system. With increased awareness, we become more conscious.

“Knowing ourselves” is developed through life experiences and analysis. If we do not learn things on our own and open up to what life presents us, we will repeatedly face challenges and be presented with opportunities to grow. Our lessons will come to us in one way or another, but until we comprehend the lessons, we will continue to be presented with opportunities for growth. That is nature’s way of forcing us into awakening and expanding our consciousness. Tension awakens us out of the relative world where we are not awake. With tension, we become “at-attention” or “at-tension.” Out of the struggle between pain and pleasure, tension enlivens within us a need to broaden our awareness in order to awaken to greater consciousness and better choices.

  Tension = Pressure

  Pressure = Need for change

  Change = Adaptation

  Adaptation = Integration

  Integration = Broadening of consciousness

 Broadening of consciousness = Enlightened use of energies/elements

Our physical drives and impulses are channeled toward fulfillment of the soul. The soul is that invisible inner essence, inner memory, and inner desire that strives to push forward to serve humanity.

When we do not accept ourselves, we often fail to share our natural gifts with others. Self-acceptance comes from our awareness and appreciation of these gifts. As we develop more of our spiritual side, our natural gifts will shine through. When we maturely express the finer qualities of our four lower chakras, we naturally and easily enliven, integrate, and holistically expand ourselves and how we connect to the whole human family.

We pursue our holistic approach by focusing our attention on the needs of the community as a whole rather than on only our individual desires. To gently encourage the individual ego into higher self-expressions, we do not “instruct” the ego on what to do as this will only cause the ego to “dig in its heels” even more deeply and find reasons not to cooperate.

The ego is in a good position to resist change because of how it sets up things for us. Rather than rely on the ego, we need to invite all aspects of ourselves to participate by asking open-ended questions such as: “What is the best solution for everyone in this situation, and how can I best assist with what I know and do well?” In this way, the ego of the human self can comfortably begin to serve the higher spiritual self by using its own gifts and talents for service to humanity. Using its talents is something the ego would naturally like to do! Through reflection on the people and the activities that affect our lives and how our world is treating us, we trigger within us a process of more consciously deciding how we want to be when dealing with others.

When WATER-element people feel unsafe in their world, they hold themselves back. By stifling their natural tendencies, they fail to appreciate how creative and imaginative they can be. When fear prevents them from expressing themselves, they lack enthusiasm and withdraw from others.

Sometimes life presents us with a major crisis. Either this crisis provides an opportunity for personal growth and a calling to fulfill something through risk-taking, or the crisis intensifies our fears and sends us further inward until a fall occurs and we are forced into personal growth. One way or the other, we have to listen to Mother Nature.


Using a planned structure to keep on track is critical to WATER-preferred people. One of their biggest challenges is to overcome their inability to say “no” as they fail to see that their own time and personal needs are as equally important as those of everyone else. They forget to put themselves into the equation.

Maintaining focus and keeping on track is a matter of identifying what is urgent and what is important at the start of each day. Time management and assertiveness skills are critical for WATER-preferred people when they coach themselves forward to achieve dreams, goals, and outcomes.

WATER-element people feel guilty if they do not give their time to others. They tend to neglect their own needs and priorities. Because of this, they require the tools of the physical side so they can identify and define their limitations, their parameters, and their available time.

Using time as a tool to your advantage, ask yourself: “What can I do today to move toward my goal? What can I plan to do tomorrow? What about two weeks from today? What about a month from now?” Putting a structure on their time is the best advice on processes for WATER-element people.

And learn to say “no.” You can say it in constructive ways, such as: “I’d love to help you with that, but I have to get this project done by the end of next week.” Or, something like, “I can help you with that but not until later today.” In this way, you can still honor yourself at the same time that you feel good about helping someone else—when it is convenient for you and not at your expense.

Stay awake, aware, and alert and strive to lead a well-tempered life – a life that possesses both hardiness and flexibility.  The good news is that once you are awake, it’s hard to go to sleep again, but if you do, do it on purpose and prepare yourself for the consequences.







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